The holiday season is a time when family and friends gather to observe long-held traditions (not to mention indulge in a smorgasbord of tempting foods). But when your world is turned upside down by mesothelioma or asbestos cancer, the holidays may not hold their usual charm.

As a caregiver for someone with mesothelioma, you may find yourself struggling just to keep up with the daily demands of your loved one's illness–expenses, transportation, physical care and household chores¬. Then along comes the annual onslaught of music, media messages and social activity to tell you how happy you should be at this time of year.

If the stress and pressure of the holiday season fill you with more dread than excitement, you're not alone. In fact, the notion that everyone is happy during the holidays is simply not true. But while the holidays are hard to ignore, simple coping strategies can help you manage holiday stress and enjoy the season with your loved one. If you and your family are dealing with mesothelioma here are some suggestions that might help.

With Mesothelioma, Communication is Key

The holidays are filled with emotion, and not all those emotions are pleasant. Sharing your feelings can help you avoid misunderstandings and reduce stress. By starting the conversation with the person you love who has mesothelioma, you open the door for them to share their feelings, too. You'll all feel less isolated and more connected as a result. Dealing with asbestos cancer or mesothelioma during the holiday season does not necessarily have to be an insurmountable task.

Understand, too, that mesothelioma is like the elephant in the living room. Others may be waiting for a cue from you or your loved one to let them know whether or not they should talk about it. You can ease the pressure by expressing your wishes and encouraging your loved one to express his.

Revisit Plans and Expectations

Unmet expectations are a common cause of holiday stress and sadness. If someone you care for has been afflicted with mesothelioma then the idyllic holiday of your childhood memories has little to do with today's reality. Perhaps in years past you shopped until you dropped or hosted the most festive party of the season, but things are different now. If your loved one is living with mesothelioma make up your mind to scale back—the world won't end if you don't find time to bake everyone's favorite holiday cookies.

Rather than assuming what your loved one with mesothelioma wants, find out what's really important to her this holiday season, and share what's important to you. Then, plan your holiday accordingly. Make deliberate decisions about how you want to spend your time, if and when you want to entertain, and which social invitations you will (and won't) accept. Instead of trying to do it all, devote your time and energy to the things that really matter.

To Take Care of Someone with Mesothelioma, You Need to Take Care of Yourself

Caring for a person with mesothelioma is a demanding job, and to do it well, you must first take care of yourself. During the holidays, it's more important than ever to fulfill your own need for rest and relaxation. Your holidays will be happier, and you'll be able to provide better care for the person in your life with mesothelioma, too. Here are some guidelines to keep in mind:

• Involve your family. If a loved one has mesothelioma ask for help with preparing food, shopping, gift wrapping and housekeeping chores.
• Take a break. Get out of the house (and into the sun, if possible). Spend time with a friend, go to a movie or sporting event, or just read a good book. Don’t spend every minute concentrating on your loved one with mesothelioma.
• Set limits. When it comes to indulging in holiday spending, rich foods or alcohol, make moderation your goal. Avoid a holiday hangover by setting limits and sticking to them.
• Maintain healthy habits. Keep up with the demands on your time and energy by maintaining the healthy routines that have brought you this far: a balanced diet, physical activity and plenty of rest.
• Stay in the present. Try not to compare this year to holidays past or worry about how much time you have left with your loved one—or what next year will bring. Focus instead on making the most of this day. Reflect on the true meaning of the holidays, and savor each precious moment with those you love.

Remember, genuine holiday happiness is all about love, peace, gratitude and sharing. Mesothelioma doesn’t preclude your family from any of that. The smartest strategy for easing the stress of the season? Simply open your heart for the best holiday of all.

- MesoRC Editor