Mesothelioma Caregiver Tips
In many ways, the family members and close friends of mesothelioma patients are the disease’s “forgotten victims.” You may dismiss your own well-being as you put the welfare of someone you love first. However, in order to maintain the strength, endurance and patience necessary to be an effective caregiver is by acknowledging and responding to your own needs.
Below are some practical tips to help you care for yourself while you care for your loved one with mesothelioma.
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1. Recognize and Accept Your Emotions
As a mesothelioma caregiver, you may be experiencing a complex mix of emotions. Deep love for your family member and the reward of helping them may be combined with feelings of resentment and frustration. You’ll likely find that sentiments such as anger, grief and sadness come and go. Keep in mind that there is no "right" or "wrong" way to feel. Your emotions are legitimate, even if they seem unfair or socially unacceptable. Recognizing and accepting your feelings are vital to managing stress.
If you discover that your emotions are making day-to-day life difficult for you, consider finding someone to talk to. A trusted family member, friend, pastor or even your physician can provide a listening ear and help you find positive ways to cope with your loved one’s mesothelioma. You may also find people in similar situations as yourself can provide support. The telephone support group provided by the Mesothelioma Applied Research Foundation may be helpful.
2. Let Others Help
When you’re caring for someone with mesothelioma - in addition to shouldering responsibilities to family, and work - you may find yourself in a daily race against the clock, trying to accomplish too much in too little time. However, as a caregiver, there are not enough hours in the day to do it all yourself. This means recognizing what you can and cannot handle and calling on others.
Keep in mind people often want to help but do not know what is needed. They may be grateful there is something specific they can do. You might even have someone in your circle of family and friends who would love to organize helpers.
Here are examples of some things others might be able to do for you:
- Preparing meals
- Housework
- Laundry
- Yard work
- Grocery shopping
- Childcare, picking up children after school
- Eldercare
- Pet care
- Doctor visits for your loved one
- Running simple errands (i.e. the post office, dry cleaning)
If you’re a caregiver for someone with mesothelioma, be sure to communicate with your family and friends. Don’t wait for assistance and don’t be afraid to ask others for help. There are online resources allowing family and friends to manage the scheduling of tasks. Asking a computer-savvy teen to find one is a way he or she can feel and be helpful.
3. Take Care of Your Own Health
Tending to your own well-being is essential to your ability to give care to someone with mesothelioma. That's because your physical health affects your energy, your outlook on life, and your ability to deal with stress. Below are some basic self-care guidelines to follow while you’re helping a loved one battle mesothelioma or asbestos cancer.
Eat right and stay active. Food is fuel for your body and gives you the strength you need to get through each day. Avoid eating a lot of processed foods and high-salt, high-fat take-out fare. Instead, eat wholesome, well-balanced meals. Be sure to drink plenty of water and limit your caffeine and alcohol intake. Although it may seem impossible to work fitness into your busy schedule, keep in mind that even light exercise can boost your energy levels—and your spirits.
Get plenty of sleep. Sleep recharges your body, improves your functioning and strengthens your stress-coping mechanisms. Be sure to get at least 6 to 8 hours of sleep per night. However, if the tension of providing care for someone with mesothelioma is making sleep difficult, try a warm bath or simple relaxation exercises at bedtime. Some people find listening to sleep-inducing relaxation music is helpful. There are many websites with products designed specifically to help with sleep, such as soundstrue.com, brainsync.com, hemi-sync.com and innerpeacemusic.com. If you continue to experience chronic sleep problems, consult your physician.
Identify sources of support. Make a list of the people and organizations you can turn to for emotional support and practical assistance with mesothelioma. Include friends, neighbors, family members, health care providers, social workers, clergy, and church members. You’ll feel less isolated and more secure when you realize you’re really not alone.
Make time for yourself. While you’re caring for a loved one with mesothelioma, don’t forget that you’re a person with needs, too. Take “time-outs” for yourself throughout the week, whether it’s spending five minutes reading a favorite magazine or visiting a good friend. Doing the things you enjoy will lift your mood and can help to break the monotony and pressure of caregiving. Consider using guided imagery CDs for relaxation. If you have a spiritual or meditative practice, maintain it. Yoga can also be relaxing for the mind and body. Websites such as healthjourneys.com or guidedimagerydownloads.com offer stress management tools.
4. Join a Support Group
Support groups unite individuals in similar situations, providing a warm, nurturing environment in which to exchange feelings and experiences with diseases like lung cancer. Whether you wish to tell your story or simply listen to others as they share, joining a support group can help you manage stress and anxiety, make new friends, and maintain a positive outlook on your situation. Ask a nurse or social worker or visit caregiver.com for help in finding a cancer caregiver support group in your local area. You may also want to consider a telephone support group that is specific to mesothelioma at curemeso.org.
Most importantly, give yourself credit for all of the selfless, caring things you’ve done for your spouse or family member as you battle mesothelioma together. Know that you’re doing the best you can in an extremely challenging situation. Even if he or she doesn’t express it—at all or often enough—your loved one is thankful to have you by their side.
Have You or a Loved One Been Diagnosed with Mesothelioma? Living with the day-to-day hardships of mesothelioma - whether it is you or a loved one who has been diagnosed with the illness - is both emotionally and financially taxing for all who are involved. If you feel that a company or former employer may be responsible for the asbestos exposure that led to an illness, contact a mesothelioma attorney to learn about filing a mesothelioma lawsuit.